What I Really Learned in College

For weeks I’ve been thinking of how to write this blog post. How could I possibly sum up all of the lessons learned and memories made over four years? Four of the most transformative years of my lifetime. I think in my mind I was waiting for the perfect moment to truly capture all that college meant to me and taught me, but I’m now realizing that perfect moment doesn’t exist.

I’m currently writing this as I fly back from Minnesota, a visit to my best friend and college roommate of three years. In a way, seeing her makes college feel like it isn’t over—not in a “those were the best years of my life and there’s nothing to look forward to anymore” way, but a “maybe these relationships and experiences don’t have to end just because I graduated” way. I find comfort in that feeling.

I think the hardest part of all of this is I never really felt sad about graduating and I feel like I’m supposed to. I mean, college genuinely was the best four years of my life thus far, so it only seems right that I would be sad to leave. South Carolina became a second home to me and a place that I truly discovered happiness. But to this day, I still haven’t cried about it, and that feels wrong. When I thought really hard about it, I realized that South Carolina showed me just how much I have to look forward to in life, and the power that I hold in creating a life that brings me joy. Because of that, it doesn’t feel like a loss.

One of the strangest realizations is that everyone’s life will continue to go on in the grades below me without me there. I spent years doing as much as I could to leave an impact, and now I’m left to wonder how long and how deeply that impact will be felt. As crazy as it is to pull out a Macklemore quote right now (but I'm going to do it anyway), it feels a lot like his lyric “I heard you die twice, once when they bury you in the grave. The second time is the last time that somebody mentions your name.” I like to think my name will come up from time to time for at least another year or two.

One of the most important lessons college taught me is that things can be great without being perfect. My time at Carolina saw some of my darkest moments, my deepest depressions, and my most difficult conflicts. I know that I walked away with a few failed friendships, some hurt feelings, and many nights I wish I could do over. But despite those moments, I found an overwhelming sense of joy. I saw firsthand how I could screw things up so bad and still work my way back. Bridges that I thought were burnt forever really just needed time for the flames to fan out and a couple of new planks. People were more forgiving than I realized before. And most importantly, I realized I could forgive myself.

Looking back, some of my proudest accomplishments in college are what I considered my greatest failures at the time. Knowing now that the C+ I got in accounting first semester was not the end of the world, but what would push me to pursue my true passions and ultimately land my dream job. Getting my heart broken opened my eyes to the transformative power of self love and that I could be enough just as I am. Not finding an internship for my junior summer would allow me to run a literal SEC recruitment (still crazy to think about) and meet some of my favorite people in the process. I wish I could just shake my past self and tell her life would turn out to be everything she dreamed of, even if it didn’t exactly match my original five year plan.

I know now that life will never go to plan, and I find that idea more and more exciting as I grow older. I love to see the way that my heart bounces back when the boy I dreamt up a whole life with stops texting me back. I love when I think I have everything fully under control and life comes through to tear it all up and start fresh. I love getting to make mistakes and realizing that life will continue to go on.

As I leave South Carolina, I feel confident that I did college right. Not perfectly, just right. And while they may have been the best years of my life so far, they taught me that there is always more love and life to discover ahead.

Cheers to the Class of 2024 and to all that is yet to come. As I've really enjoyed saying/reminding myself lately, life is just beginning!