Two Years of Morgan's Happy Moments

Wow. Two whole years have passed since I started this account. Two years filled with a lot of life changes, happy moments, new lows and new highs. I remember starting this account back in May of 2020, two months into a pandemic that changed everything. A pandemic that took away my final months of high school—prom, graduation, and a hundred other memories I dreamed of making while I sat alone in my room. It’s harder to put into perspective how much has really changed since then. In my mind, I’m still the same person I’ve always been. But in reality, a whole lot has changed since then.

I often find myself minimizing the accomplishments in my life out of fear for coming off as braggy. But today I simply want to reflect on the growth I’ve had over the past two years and the person that I’ve become. So, here’s what the last two years have taught me.

Number 1: Life is hard, and you can never escape that. Growing up, I’ve always had trouble staying present because I was too busy dreaming about how much better life would be if I could just make it through this or that. But the problem is, there’s always another this or that waiting for its time to shine. Moving to a new place or making new friends won’t change the fact that sometimes, life just sucks. I read an interesting quote the other day that really caught my attention and has stuck with me throughout this week: “The world isn’t against you, it just doesn’t care about you.” And while that seems like an extremely negative outlook on the world, I think it’s true. The world doesn’t care if you try your absolute hardest and you give it all you got. However, the world still doesn’t care if you want to dress a certain way or believe a certain thing. So to that I say, why not do it? Why not live our lives how we dream of being? It’s not like the world will care.

Number 2: There is always time to start over. My anxiety likes to tell me that I’m stuck in whatever situation I am and there’s no way out. I fear that one thing I say will stick with people forever and prevent me from ever improving. The reality is, we’re all human, and a lot of our life is filled with change that we can’t control. I’ve learned that if I am not happy in a situation, I can surround myself with new people and focus on those who make me feel loved regardless of the stupid things I do or say. It may seem silly for a twenty-year-old to think that there’s no time to start over, but sometimes it’s easier to get caught up in your head than to have the guts to make the change you want.

Number 3: Not everyone will like you and that’s okay. For as long as I can remember, the idea of people not liking me has bothered me beyond belief. It’s caused me to change myself in ways that I thought would make me more digestible or fun to be around. It’s made me question my own values and worth for the opinions of people I don’t even consider friends. What I’ve started telling myself is: if people are looking for a reason to dislike you, they’ll find one. No matter how hard you try or how kind you are, you simply can never meet all of the expectations of everyone you meet. So, you might as well accept it and focus your energy on the people who don’t make you feel the need to change in any sort of way to make them like you.

Number 4: Self-doubt will follow you no matter how successful you are. Even back in high school, I constantly questioned my self-worth when surrounded by others who challenged me. I hated not being the smartest person in the room, or the prettiest, or the funniest. I felt like I wasn’t smart enough to fit in my friend group, or I wouldn’t get into a college that was impressive enough. And even if I did, that I wouldn’t succeed. When I take a step back and think about all that I’ve accomplished in my first two years of college, I just wish I could go back in time and tell myself that it will all work out. That I’ll get into my dream school and my dream sorority and meet some of the best friends I’ve ever known. That moving nine hours away from home wasn’t as scary as I thought and would turn out to be the best decision I’ve ever made. That I’m surrounded by people who not only support me but make me feel like I am worthy, smart, and loved even on my worst days. Even still, there are many days that I feel like I am not intelligent or impressive enough for others, but I know in my heart that isn’t true and it’s something I just have to overcome.

Number 5: There are so many people you haven’t even met yet who will love you. This is one of my favorite quotes that has stuck with me for years now. No matter how old you are, there are people out there who will come into your life and love you that you didn’t even know existed. Especially at this point in my life, I still have no idea what city I’ll wind up in or who my friends will be. It can be scary to think about the future, but it’s less scary when I realize that I am constantly meeting new people who could play a much larger role in my life than I would have ever imagined. We can’t have it all planned out, and there’s a lot of beauty in that mystery.

A lot of times I sit down to write these posts I have to get past the idea that others might not like it. Or even worse, not read it at all. But, at the end of the day, this blog has become something I am so proud of and share with hundreds of people, even if they never read an actual post. Just sitting down and writing makes me feel like maybe, just maybe, I’m making a little bit of a difference in my life and someone else’s. So to anyone who is reading this, thank you. Thank you for being a part of this journey, whether it’s been for two years, two weeks, or two minutes. I hope you know that there is hope in every situation and that life has many, many happy moments to come.